The meeting is scheduled for Sunday at 9:00 am.
I jump on Zoom and crickets for 5…6…7…8…minutes. So, I called. No one at that house had looked at their email or chat and they didn’t put it on a calendar when it was set, so they did not really know what time it would be happening.
One person was sleeping and he was slow to rise. So it is going to be a few minutes.
I called the last one and he happened to get called into work and was having issues calling in on the phone.
I spend 20 minutes finding a work-around for that situation, which gives the other one time to wake up.
So, at 9:50 am, we started the meeting.
This is the same group of people that were late to their own father’s funeral by 15 min.
This is a situation that played out recently for me. I share it with you because if you have many loved one’s who are time blind (or just one), it can be hard to not get angry about a situation like this, lose your temper and possibly say or do things that just lay on guilt, blame and shame. That isn’t helpful to anyone, and it can be harmful to other people. I can’t imagine that you got up that day and thought, “I think I will be a bully.” Because that is what happens. You’re better than that.
If you are a person who is time blind, it might be helpful to see this from the other person’s perspective, just to know what it is. You also might not be aware of the additional effort and accommodations that are made to work with your neuro differences or how to ask for them.
By talking about it, maybe we can all become more aware. We need to remove the emotions from this situation and just create better solutions.
This is a key example of being an adult with a neuro difference. It didn’t stop just because you left school; parts of your difference only became more obvious and exacerbated after leaving the structure of school. Some aspects of neurobiological variations only show up after school.
“The most powerful thing you can do for yourself
and for those who love and support you
is to learn about you.”
The most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for those who love and support you is learn about you. Create your own user’s manual, learn to communicate your needs, and educate others. Don’t be afraid of labels. Be afraid not to ask “Why” and understand it with more depth. It is not someone else’s job to figure you out, to follow you around and make sure the world adapts to your neurobiological variations. For the neuro typical that is an unrealistic expectation in this process. It will come, but not in my lifetime so until then, this is your job.
I see each situation as an opportunity to grow and learn. This morning’s meeting is no different.
I am going to add more sensory options, to engage more parts of the brain. I am also going to add in more notifications right when the meeting is about to start, to create the “NOW” effect.
Ways that I plan to improve to accommodate for the time blindness with this group of people.
Step by Step Plan For Having A Meeting That Only Starts 10 Minutes Late.
1) Send out a calendar invite with the zoom link with 5 notifications:
- The day before
- The day of
- One hour before
- 10 minutes before
- 1 min before
2) Send out a postcard reminder or print off the items for the meeting and USPS mail it.
3) Send a text telling them to open their email and say YES they will be attending the meeting. This will put the event on their calendar. Ask them to confirm when they have done this.
4) Add a reminder in my calendar to make sure I have confirmation from them that they did the task in the text.
5) If they do not do the task in the text reminder, call them and walk them through getting it done over the phone.
6) Schedule an email to go out the day before with the link to the meeting.
7) Schedule a text message to go off 1 minute before the meeting with the zoom link.
Written by: JoyGenea Schumer