I am three weeks into three unrelated classes right now, and I feel like I am back in school, except with less accountability and way more distractions. I did this to myself. I know exactly how, because I watch my clients do it to themselves every single month.
Watch the full video:
The Client Who Only Knows How to Go All In
One of my clients runs a manufacturing company. Their schedule was already a squeeze before they added an AI course and a leadership program. I recommended both. Not at the same time.
Here is the part that matters. This client is a high academic achiever. When they learn something, they do not dabble. They go all in, every time, and they do not have “all in” hours sitting around that do not already belong to someone else. In this case, that someone else was the family.
If you are an unconventional dreamer or thinker, you know this pattern. A training catches your eye, a new network opens up, and you sign up before you have thought through how it lands in your actual week. I am calling this out because I am a proud, card-carrying member of the club myself. I have used a five-question structure for the past five years to keep it from wrecking my own schedule, and I walk my clients through the same one before they buy anything.
Five Questions I Run Before I Say Yes to Anything
- Do I really want it?
A week from now, will I still be thinking about this, and regretting that I did not sign up or join? - What will the time commitment be to actually be successful and enjoy the learning?
-Every page of text I need to read or listen to is worth about 2.5 minutes.
-Count the number of assignments due per week.
-Count the number of videos per week and how long they are.
-The real difference maker most people miss: is this taught in my best style of learning, or will I have to convert it into my own style to succeed? If I have to convert it, I double the amount of time I think it will take. That is reality. - Pencil it into my calendar.
Calendars do not lie. You either have the time or you do not.
-What days of the week will I focus on this?
-What time of day?
-How will I hold myself accountable when I first start? - Am I stealing time from someone or something else that is more valuable?
Be careful here. You will try to lie to yourself about this one, especially if you really want it.
-The number one thing people kick out of their schedule in these moments: health time. The gym, the workout, moving with purpose.
-The second: evenings with family. If this is the one, check with the other people involved first. - What is the return on my investment of time, money, and bandwidth?
What will I have then that I do not have now?
After all five, it usually becomes clear if it is a yes or a no. When it is a yes, the clients who run this process see far better results than the ones who skip it. You cannot shortcut knowing why you are doing something, how you will make it happen, and what it will feel like when you are done. That is coaching 101.
If the habit underneath this is overcommitting past 100%, I wrote about the math behind that here:
Related: Stop trying to give 600% (Your hypothetical “Enough Number”)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwK1Ge8ZKEg
If the habit underneath this is a hard time saying no to people, I wrote about that pattern here:
Related: Ending People-Pleasing and Adding Thoughtful Accountability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpb5b2yBE1M
What Happened With My Client
We ran this process after they had already bought both programs. They adjusted a few things that were already worth letting go of. They did not take one more hour from the family. The team now watches them close the door and protect focused time, which means they are modeling growth instead of just requiring it. That is a win for the client, a win for the team, and a win for the family. This client is off to a strong start because we built it that way from the beginning.
Before you say yes to the next course, program, or certification sitting in your inbox: what specifically comes off your calendar to make room for it, and have you told the person it affects yet?
JoyGenea Schumer
Personal Development Expert To The Unconventional Leaders
Video Transcription:
How to say no to more things sliding into your schedule when your feelings are screaming, “Yes, we can make it happen.” That’s this week’s topic. I was thinking about this as I am just onboarding myself into a couple of new classes that are very different from each other this last week, and it was funny because a few other clients came in a little hot on that topic themselves.
They had signed up for some courses a variety of things like that, that were being smooshed into their schedule, and they were already feeling the bite of how they said yes to this thing, but had not realized how much time it was actually going to take, and where they were gonna find that time, and how they were gonna make that happen.
And I s- I see this. How– ‘Cause you know you need some accountability involved in it. I know how our brains work. We’re a little unconventional. It needs to be a little bit different. And I know I am not the only one. So this is why we’re gonna talk about this. One of them was a leader of a manufacturing company.
His schedule was already squeezed very thin, and then he added in an AI course and a leadership program, ’cause both look shiny and beautiful, and both will be great additions to his goals. So not arguing with that at all. I just knew the amount of time they were both going to take. And honestly, I recommended them, so it was partially my own fault.
I shouldn’t have shared them at the same time. But we were talking about it. I thought he could look them over and would maybe pick one. No, of course, again, both felt yes, so he jumped. All right The next aspect that I brought to the conversation was, “Okay, I know you, and you in school and so forth have always been a high achiever, straight As, very applied to the learning,” which is wonderful, but it means a different level of showing up for classes and showing up for programs like that.
So I’m like, “How are we going to do this with your schedule and not alienate your family and not take away from that time? Because they didn’t sign up for this. You’re already working a lot. You’re already absent emotionally at times. Like, how do we balance this? What’s…” And that was the additional learning.
‘Cause as unconventional dreamers and thinkers, this can happen to us. We can see training, we can see networking, we can see the next thing we know we wanna sign up for, and before you know it, we’re signing up for it and we have, we don’t, it doesn’t really actually fit in your schedule. And so you’re either not taking the training, it sits on the shelf.
Trust me, I hear that from a ton of people. I bought this training and I have it on the shelf and I have access to it and I’ve never looked at it,” or, “I’ve logged in once and looked at it.” So they’re off possibly even purchasing the same thing again from a different spot. I’ve been guilty of that.
Instead of doing these steps we’re gonna talk about So I’m calling us out. I really am in this conversation. I am calling us out, and I’m saying, “You know what? Yeah.” So we can take this out of our blind spot and own it. I’ll raise my hand. I said I was already part of that, and I have a little structure that I have been using for the past five years that really helps me not overwhelm my schedule and sets me up for success, and it is a practice that I often use with my clients that are in college.
It also gets applied to my unconventional leaders from time to time, but for sure with the college students it gets out there. So the five-step framework for training classes and educational success. As adults, it looks different. We have a lot of other things going on. So step one, simple step, step one, do I really want this?
Like how bad… A week from now, will I still be thinking about this and regret that I didn’t sign up for it? When I hear other people talking about it, will I be like, “Oh man, I should’ve signed up for that.” Figure that out and recognize your FOMO level. When you say no, you need to be okay with your friends signing up for it and having a great time, and it works out for them.
You’ll sign up next time. If the timing is wrong, it’s a no. So if that first one, if you’re like, “Eh, I probably will forget about it in a week,” you’re already a no. You can move on. You don’t even need the rest of this. Step two, what will the time commitment be for me to really be successful in this and to enjoy the learning?
I like to learn. I want to learn not by the speed of gulping it like from a fire hose, but in the like nice digestible portions. So I actually have some equations that I use. For every page of reading, if I know there’s gonna be a lot of reading, I figure that out and I ask. I equate 2.5 minutes per page of listening, reading combo that I have to do.
Number of assignments due each week, the number of videos they’re gonna have us watching. I signed up for one course, and there were like 10 videos that were 30 minutes a piece. I didn’t have that… trust me, that one’s sitting on a shelf somewhere just for that reason. I didn’t assess that properly.
That was before the five-year mark, by the way. Here’s the real difference maker for us unconventional thinkers, and that Is this teacher trainer, are they going to give you the information that is in your learning style? That you best consume information, best learn? If it is not, you need to double the amount of time you think it’s going to take to do this course, because you will be converting things over into your learning style.
You will need to be successful. So don’t pretend like it’s not there. If you’ve followed them before, if you took their workshop, if you’re taking other classes from them, number three, pencil it into your calendar. Truly, open up the calendar and be like, “Okay, if this is gonna take this much time, I’ve already spent 10 minutes figuring this out where am I gonna come up with that time?
Where is that time available, and is it really available?” I don’t consider it available if you’re mowing over family time. I don’t consider it available if you’re gonna take away from your health time, working out, those types of things. What days of the week? What hours of the week? When is this really fitting into your schedule?
And who are you going to be accountable to for it when you first start? That accountability is key when you’re first starting these types of things. I cannot tell you how many of my clients are like, “I bought this course and this course,” and they’re all just sitting or… And they’ve never completed them because they didn’t have a little cohort that they were going through them with.
That accountability. If you have opportunities to take training and learning in a small group, it increases for us unconventional learners and thinkers, it increases our outcomes. It just does. Okay, we’re up to step four. Are you I was just talking about are you stealing time from something or someone else that is more valuable?
This one’s really important. You are also valuable. So stealing time from your workout, stealing time from your mental health, meditation time, journaling time, not… probably not as valuable as those things are to your system. Or knowing that you might give them up for a few months, but you’ll be returning to them, having, pre-arranging that agreement with yourself that this is a small s- timeout from that, but you’re coming back to it.
Routines can be very important. Making sure that you’re assessing where, what you’re giving up. You can’t give up evenings with your family, by the way. If they’re involved, you need to check with them if that’s p- if that actually works out. I had a client do that, and, “I’m just gonna do these classes in the evenings,” and his family was not on board and did not appreciate that.
And now finally, we are to step five. What is the return on your investment of time, money, and bandwidth? You’re gonna put in time, you’re gonna put in some money, and a bunch of bandwidth. Your mental capacity is going to be borrowed by this And you need to understand what are you going to get out of that?
What will you have when you’re done that you don’t have now? And you– if you’re coaching with me, you better be able to explain that really well, ’cause I know I hold myself to a really high bar of explaining it. What are the measurables? There are answers that I hate answering, and I thank myself for doing it every time.
That’s why I’m pushing you. That’s why I’m giving you the opportunity to m- do this better and make your life easier. That’s what this is about. Life should be easy. After all of this, it becomes pretty much clear if it’s a yes or no. And if it is still a yes, the success I can see in my clients is much greater thanks to them having gone through this process.
They already have an idea of how this is gonna go, how easily it’s gonna go. It’s already been a setup for win-win. So don’t shortcut the importance of these steps, going through this process and making sure that it really does fit. It’s kinda coaching one or o- 101. Know why you are doing something, how you’re going to make it happen, and what it will feel like when you’re done, ’cause that’s actually the whole reason you’re showing up most of the time, is for the outcome.
And if you aren’t totally focused on that, you’ll get lost in the weeds, maybe to the point of purchasing the thing and never logging in. Trust me, I have seen it. Okay, you’re super curious about my client. Back to him. He did not take away time from his family. We used it as a win-win-win in a l- re- reminding his staff and employees that they have an education and training fund that they strongly encourage their team to utilize that to take trainings, classes, and so forth.
And by him taking time, setting boundaries, closing the door, doing the do not disturb, which he’s been practicing more of for himself, he’s now gonna use these classes as an example of that. He is gonna show his team, through his leadership and example, what it looks like to take these courses and to apply them.
He’s actually accountable to give a little f- five to 10 minute, what’d you learn this week in this course that might be applicable to the rest of the leadership team. Making it a win-win-win. So he is already off to a great start, I can tell you that. If you can relate to this story, which I have a feeling you can, I am so happy to help you if you need a little help sorting this out from time to time.
And if you’d love to leave a comment, I would love to hear how you’ve applied this in different places. I would love to hear how you’ve been successful when you’ve applied trainings and courses and those types of things in your adult life and in your leadership and growth. It’s such a great strength to be able to do that now, to be able to go out and really pick the training you wanna bring in and apply it.
I just hate to see it so often left in your email and never coming out. So that’s what this is about. This is about a framework of learning to say no to what actually doesn’t fit at this time, it’s the wrong time, and yes to what does really fit and is gonna add a lot of value. I’m JoyGenea, unconventional leadership coach, champion for the different thinker, and passionate learner, just like you.
Thanks, and bye now.