In Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides, Geoffrey L. Cohen delves deep into the universal need for belonging and the transformative power belonging has on individuals and communities.
While the book spans diverse topics such as identity, stereotypes, and societal divides, its insights hold special relevance for fostering inclusion and support for neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD, dyslexia, and autism.
In a world where the unique strengths and challenges of neurodiverse people are often misunderstood, Belonging offers tools to create environments where everyone—regardless of how their brain works—can thrive.
Belonging and Neurodiversity: A Core Connection
Cohen emphasizes that belonging is not just “nice-to-have” but a fundamental human need. For neurodivergent individuals, the sense of being “othered” can be amplified by societal norms that often prioritize conformity over diversity.
These experiences of exclusion can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and isolation—challenges frequently reported by individuals with ADHD, dyslexia, or autism.
By addressing these barriers, we can create spaces where neurodiverse individuals feel not just accommodated but celebrated for their unique perspectives and talents. As Cohen argues, small changes in how we communicate, support, and include others can have profound effects on fostering belonging.
Practical Lessons from Belonging for Supporting Neurodiversity
1. Affirming Identity
Cohen discusses the power of values affirmation, where individuals are encouraged to focus on their core values to strengthen their sense of self-worth. For neurodivergent individuals, this could mean creating opportunities to celebrate their strengths, such as creativity, problem-solving, or attention to detail.
2. Challenging Stereotypes
Stereotypes and biases can undermine belonging, particularly for those with invisible disabilities like ADHD or dyslexia. Cohen’s insights remind us of the importance of challenging assumptions about what success or competence looks like, paving the way for inclusive practices in education and workplaces.
3. Creating Safe Spaces
Cohen highlights the importance of psychological safety—environments where people feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
For neurodivergent individuals, this might involve offering flexible communication styles, alternative learning methods, or sensory-friendly spaces.
4. Bridging Divides with Empathy
Perspective-taking and empathy, two key strategies Cohen advocates, are vital for understanding the experiences of neurodiverse individuals.
For example, recognizing that someone with ADHD may thrive in a dynamic environment rather than a rigid structure can help build stronger relationships and reduce misunderstandings.
Book Club Questions for Neurodiversity-Inclusive Discussions
If your book club is exploring Belonging with neurodiversity in mind, here are some tailored questions to spark thoughtful conversations:
1. How does Cohen’s definition of belonging apply to neurodivergent individuals? What additional barriers might they face?
2. In what ways can schools and workplaces apply Cohen’s interventions, like values affirmation or wise feedback, to better support people with ADHD, dyslexia, or autism?
3. Have you ever witnessed or experienced a lack of belonging in a neurodiverse context? How might the principles in Belonging help address those situations?
4. Cohen discusses the role of empathy in bridging divides. How can we use empathy to better understand and support neurodiverse individuals?
5. How can institutions foster environments where neurodivergent individuals feel included and valued, rather than pressured to conform?
Building a Neurodiverse-Inclusive Future
The lessons from Belonging remind us that fostering connection is both a personal and collective responsibility. By applying Cohen’s insights to neurodiversity, we can create communities, schools, and workplaces where everyone feels seen, valued, and supported.
Supporting neurodivergent individuals isn’t just about accommodations; it’s about recognizing the immense value they bring to the table. Whether it’s embracing unique problem-solving skills or understanding diverse ways of processing information, honoring neurodiversity enriches us all.
Cohen’s book offers a roadmap for bridging divides, building empathy, and creating a sense of belonging for everyone—especially those whose differences make them exceptional. When we prioritize belonging, we don’t just support individuals; we create a world where diversity in all its forms is celebrated.
Conclusion
As we strive to support neurodiverse individuals, the message of Belonging is clear: small, intentional actions can create big changes. Let’s work together to build environments where ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and other forms of neurodiversity are understood, respected, and embraced. In doing so, we not only foster belonging but unlock the full potential of every individual.
Transcription:
So recently, I read this great book. It was called Belonging by Jeffrey Cohen. Again, a little bit thick, but that’s okay—I really, really enjoyed it. One of the key takeaways I got from reading this book, and how it really related to the neurodiverse community, was the fact that just in the beginning portion of the book, I realized that one of the things I had originally been searching for in my 20s was a sense of belonging to something.
It was so clear, through the school system and so forth, that I had felt like I didn’t belong to anything. That’s not a great feeling, to feel adrift. I do recall feeling vulnerable, and he talks about that—how for people craving that sense of belonging, which is an innate part of us, when we cannot fulfill that and we feel like we don’t belong, it does cause us to be very, very vulnerable.
So that’s what I talk about this week. The book was Belonging, and this week’s article, in particular, really focuses on the connection between this book and how it relates to the neurodiverse community—people with ADHD, dyslexia, and autism. Again, he talks about the fact that belonging is core. It’s in our chemistry; it’s in our DNA. We yearn to belong. It’s part of how we’ve survived so long—it’s just part of us. So it’s not something we can avoid or pretend isn’t happening. For most people, it’s a very real thing—wanting to be part of something and feeling like you belong.
He also talks about some key factors to note. One is affirming identity. These are practical lessons that he points out: affirming identity, challenging stereotypes, creating safe spaces, and bridging divides with empathy—having that compassion and empathy.
I also include in the article some questions. If you choose to read this book or host it at your book club, and if neurodiversity is part of the topic, there are some nice questions to ask that relate to that. I think you would enjoy them. The book also talks about creating a more inclusive and belonging future for people.
One of the things I really took away—and I’ll just wrap it up this way—is that as we strive to connect with and support neurodiverse individuals, the message of belonging is clear: small, intentional actions can create big changes. Let’s work together to build environments where ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and other forms of neurodiversity are understood, respected, and embraced. In doing so, we not only foster belonging but unlock the full potential of every individual. I think that’s what we’re all striving for—to belong, to unlock our full potential, and to feel valuable.
This book definitely points out a variety of ways to achieve that and includes a lot of studies and information, reminding us that it’s worth finding a healthy tribe that supports you, encourages you to continue growing, and lifts you up. That’s a really, really important thing.
If you are right now in between finding your community or finding the place where you belong, know that one thing that happens as we grow is that we sometimes have to leave places where we once belonged. We might recognize they are no longer healthy for us, and we might not belong there anymore. He talks about that in the book as well. That can happen to all of us as we grow. I’ve experienced that, and I know most of my friends have too.
So I encourage you to at least check out the book, check out the summary, listen to the audio, and enjoy the book Belonging. It really was a great read.
Thanks! I’m JoyGenea, International Neurodiversity Coach, helping those different thinkers reach their full potential. Bye now!