How Many Types Of Healthy Boundaries Are You Using In Life? Did You Know There Are 7 Types Of Boundaries?

How many types of healthy boundaries are you using in life?

Did you know there are Seven types of Boundaries? I didn’t.

  1. Physical boundaries: Comfort with people touching you, being in or sharing your personal space as well as your physical needs to eat, sleep or rest and drink.
  2. Emotional boundaries: Personal emotional needs, such as sharing feelings, picking up on your energy and sharing private details about your life.
  3. Time boundaries: Prioritizing your time. The need for others to understand your personal time restraints and respect your use of time.
  4. Sexual boundaries: Boundaries regarding personal consent, desire and privacy.
  5. Intellectual boundaries: The way others accept and authenticate your thoughts, ideas and curiosities.
  6. Material boundaries: Think personal belongings and property, the things you own.
  7. Communication Boundaries: The way you communicate with people or don’t. Included here is phone, email, text, messaging, social media, talking, writing, and audio. Includes the amount of time you spend in social media apps, phone calls, emailing and texting.

Now that you know more about your options, how are you doing with these boundaries?

Boundaries are an important part of having balanced mental health. They are important because you have boundaries and when people cross over them, you have feelings about that. You might not notice those feelings; you could be a professional stuffer of your feelings. In that case, it would be good for you to just start to notice that you have feelings about things when people ask you to do stuff you don’t want to do.

For other people they are very aware of their boundaries and their boundaries get all over everyone. There is a line between self-care and controlling others.

Here is an example of a situation with boundaries.
I have an autoimmune disorder and I have foods that work well with my body and foods that don’t. It is not life threatening, so I can be around all foods, I just need to choose ones that work best for me. My healthy boundary is that I don’t eat the foods that don’t work well for me. As we are going to holiday parties right now, my boundary with food means I will need to bring my own food, so I have something to eat.

It is NOT the hosts or anyone else’s job to have the foods I need. I am working hard to not ask people to modify recipes for me or buy special foods. The foods I bring to share are items I can completely have and enjoy.

I know that there will be some people at these events that will ask lots of questions, make judgements about my choices, and encourage me to just, “try this, it’s not going to kill you and I made it.” I will deal with each situation as it arrives and know that each person is doing their best with their boundaries and feelings. And I know that if anyone threatens my well-being or makes me feel unsafe, I can leave at any time, without even telling people. I have a good friend who does this, and he taught me that it works out just fine.

There are at least seven boundaries, and you have rules around each of them. Start to learn your rules and start to notice and respect other peoples. It might change and improve your engagement with others.

Remember what Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind, Unclear is unkind.” Be clear with people and they can be clear with you.

How do you tell people “no” or set a boundary? Start by honoring other people’s boundaries if they set them with you.

Setting a boundary:

  1. Don’t over think it
  2. Make it about you and your why
  3. Be open to listening to their feelings around your boundary, and stick with your boundary
  4. If this is a temporary boundary and it might change in the years to come, let them know that


“Thank you for the invitation to your party, it sounds like you have done a lot of planning. I am honored to be invited. This year I am not going to be able to attend.”

If they ask more questions, add a boundary. “I am not comfortable getting into all the details with you. I am working through it, and I need some time. Thank you for honoring where I am at right now.”

If they take the whole thing personally and come out attacking this is an additional option. “I can see that your feelings have been hurt and that was never the point, I am sorry you feel that way and I hear you. I am not going to be changing my mind right now. Please stop all of the questions and love me right where I am at. Thank you.”

Enjoy the people closest to you and know that it is ok to have boundaries and those boundaries will change and evolve, just like you.


JoyGenea Schumer
Business Owner, International Neurodiversity Coach, and Speaker

Leave a Reply