The moment I named what was happening, their whole body changed.
A founder was locked in a loop, tightening around a specific set of words an employee had not said, three days in and drafting a disciplinary action. One observation shifted everything.
You might be running the same pattern right now. Waiting for a specific phrase. Building a case. Not realizing your operating system is stuck on a signal that may never come.
When I said “you’re waiting for those specific words only,” they sat back, relaxed, and saw it immediately. That was the 180. Not a long conversation. One named thing.
That is the Right Word Vice Effect. Named, it loses its grip. Unnamed, it keeps tightening.
Have you ever watched a moment like this happen in your own leadership?
Transcription:
I’m not saying either of them was right or wrong. I was just merely pointing out to the client, “You seem fixated on a group of words needing to be stated, and without that, there’s no forgiveness.
There’s no looking… Like, there’s no moving forward. You need and must write this disciplinary action for you.” It’s like you’re stuck in a loop, and it’s a vice practically. It’s just squeezing you tighter and tighter, and you’re becoming more and more emotional and energized by it. And The power of Zoom, the look on their…
Like, their whole body relaxed. They just, they mo- they s- they sat back like this and they relaxed and it was very clear that what I had said had hit them. And, and they, they pointed out, they, they’re like, “You’re right. I’m waiting for those specific words only.” And I pointed out to them that that might be a little challenging in communicating and leading a group of people because not everybody communicates the same.
And trust me, just in, in that second, it was 180-degree turn. They felt no extreme need to write up the disciplinary things, and instead just recognized they needed to pull that person aside and just have a conversation,