Author Coach JoyGenea with assistance from Notion AI and image from Nana Banana Pro2
Kind, unconventional leaders often under-communicate because of a hidden belief:
“If I say what I’m really thinking, they won’t get it, they won’t like me, they will think I am stupid, or they’ll laugh.”
When you don’t “sell the story,” your team fills in the gaps with assumptions.
This isn’t about them. It is about you and your hidden fears.
Use this 3-step pattern interrupt:
1) Name the belief (exact words).
2) Write a funny comeback.
3) Take one tiny proof action.
Most leadership problems don’t start as strategy problems.
They start as belief problems.
And the most expensive unconventional leadership belief I see in *kind, outside of the box leaders* is this:
“If I say what I’m really thinking, they won’t get it, they won’t like me, they will think I am stupid, or they’ll laugh.”
That belief doesn’t just hurt confidence.
It creates a very practical business problem: under-communication.
Why this belief breaks projects (even when you’re “pretty sure you explained it”)
I was just in a conversation with a client whose implementation team had gone completely off the rails.
The leader was frustrated because, from their perspective, they had explained it.
And they had.
But there were pieces they held back.
Not because they were being dishonest, but because they had a fear underneath it:
– “If I say this part out loud, they might not think I’m smart.”
– “They might not take me seriously.”
– “They might laugh.”
So, the team got the “what,” but not the full “why,” not the priorities, and not the nuance.
That’s how breakdowns happen.
The real issue: you didn’t sell the story
Here’s the thing about people.
If there’s a gap in the story, the brain doesn’t leave it blank.
It fills it in.
Usually with the least effort explanation.
If you don’t share the full context, your team will still move forward.
They’ll just move forward based on:
– their assumptions
– their past experiences
– the easiest interpretation of what you said
Then you get the result and think: “How did we end up here? This wasn’t the plan.”
It wasn’t the plan, because they didn’t have the whole story.
Personal example: I almost hid my own story, too
This is my first week working from my new office.
It’s also a 20-foot toy hauler camper.
When we’re traveling, the motorcycles come out, and that space becomes my office.
And I’ll be honest: I held back from sharing it.
Not because it’s shameful. Not because it’s not working.
But because of a belief I had to confront:
“To be taken seriously as a leader and an elite coach, I have to work from a brick-and-mortar office.”
Meanwhile, real life is happening.
Weather happens.
People happen.
Logistics happen.
This week, the freezer door literally broke off.
You can’t plan for everything.
You adjust.
And that’s leadership.
A simple 3-step pattern interrupt (use this before you delegate, post, or lead a hard conversation)
If you’re under-communicating because of fear, you don’t need more pressure.
You need a pattern interrupt.
Here’s the three-step tool I used last week, and it made me laugh at the belief until it lost its power.
Step 1: Name the belief (exact words)
Write it exactly the way it shows up in your head.
Not the polite version.
The real version.
Step 2: Write a funny comeback
Humor breaks the spell.
One of my easiest comebacks was:
“I’m an unconventional leader. Who thinks I’m coloring between the lines and staying in the box?”
Step 3: Pick one tiny proof action
Not a huge overhaul.
One small action that proves the belief wrong.
My tiny proof action was making the video and telling the truth about what I’m building and how I’m working.
Your tiny proof action might be:
– “I’m going to say the deadline out loud.”
– “I’m going to define what ‘done’ looks like.”
– “I’m going to give the reason behind the decision, not just the decision.”
If you’re a kind leader: directness is not aggression
Unconventional leaders are often deeply thoughtful.
The goal is not to become harsher.
The goal is to become clearer.
Clear leaders don’t just share tasks. They share context.
They “sell the story” so the team can execute the story.
Your next step (pick one)
–Grab the free Unconventional Leader’s Playbook (7 strategies for future-focused, strong, win-win leaders).
–Use the Bad Belief Joke Creator (60 seconds): name the belief, write the comeback, choose a tiny proof action.
If this hit home, you’re not broken.
You’re an unconventional leader learning to lead out loud.
Quick question for you:
What’s the belief you keep hearing right before you go to delegate a big project to the team?
I want to hear your thoughts on this, please share.
Coach JoyGenea
Video transcription:
Projects break down, but leadership breaks down first, and I’m going to explain, as an unconventional leader, how to do that differently, and I’m gonna let you into a little bit of a secret that I haven’t exactly been sharing, because you know what, I’ve had a bit of a limiting belief that I’ve gotten over recently, so stick around, you wanna see the end of the video, cause there might be something interesting revealed, actually there will be, I’ll just heads up the belief that breaks projects, if I say what I’m thinking.
I really was in a conversation with a client this morning, they were talking about their teams and how they’d gone off the rail, an entire team that was about implementation and direct client access, and they had, they had built things and tried to fix things, but it was just off, it was way off, and we were talking about how it got so far off. He felt really confident he had explained it properly, and, and he had, but there were things that he had held back on, and he held back on those things cause he thought, if I say them, they might not think I’m smart anymore, they might not take me seriously, because how he saw things was very clear, um, but he didn’t share that with them, so there was a definite breakdown.
So, I want to tell you the most expensive leadership belief that I see in kind unconventional leaders. I coach unconventional leaders because I am one, I push boundaries and I push beliefs all the time, I make people uncomfortable from time to time, I see it in their face, I see it in their, like, oh, like what is she doing, that’s not how it’s done, I see it all the time, and it’s okay, I’m comfortable with it now. I wasn’t years ago, I would then shrink and go, maybe I shouldn’t do that, let’s question that a lot more, shall we, while we grow this world.
So this week I am pushing the belief, this is one that I have, that to be taken seriously as a leader and an elite coach, I have to work from a brick and mortar office, I have to be able to say here’s my address, like here’s what it looks like if you googled it, all of those things. The reality is, this is the reality, this is my desk inside my toy hauler camper, and this is the first week it’s actually been set up, and I’m so excited, so this is my first week working in my new office, which is also a 20 foot toy hauling camper that holds my, holds motorcycles when I am not parked, and when I am parked the motorcycles are gone, and this is my office, and it’s kind of incredible.
It has also been humbling, because there have been a hundred unexpected things that I could not plan, like weather and people and logistics, plans change daily in this environment, heck, the freezer, I kid you not, I could show you this, the freezer door broke off this morning, it’s a little, anyhow, I couldn’t see that coming, but guess what, it’s gotta be fixed or we have a freezer problem.
So it has been humbling, and it’s also been incredibly growing, and it’s also very much within my unconventional leadership style. There are a pile of things that I wanted to make possible for the people in my life that I love, that I felt it was not right to be limiting them because of my goal to build this company and my dream to reach 5 million people and help change their lives so that they know they are enough, that’s my mission and my goal, that doesn’t have to be everybody else’s in my life, and so how do you merge and mix things to make that happen.
Unconventional leaders I know are doing this all the time, okay, there’s this over here, and there’s part of this over there, how do we bring those things together to create the best outcome, that to me is incredible leadership, and I talk about it all the time, and I am living it right now all the time, and I’m usually living it, and that’s exactly how UN leadership feels.
When you under communicate, you have a plan in your head, but you don’t say the whole thing out loud, because you’re thinking, if I say what I’m really thinking, they won’t get it, and they might not like me, or they might laugh, they’re not going to take me seriously. I didn’t tell you about all of this while it was happening, even some of my clients aren’t that aware of how much transformation is kind of happening behind the scenes, because I have been afraid, my belief has been holding me back that people will laugh at me, when the reality is they’re not gonna laugh, I think they’re going to relate, and, and relate to the fact that it is an outside of the box way to approach business and living, which is to me phenomenal.
So when I don’t share all that information, I bet you’ve guessed, where exactly is she, the background’s kind of different, what exactly is going on, teams are the same way, they’re guessing, they’re filling it, trust me, if you did not tell the story, if you did not share some of this, they’re filling in the gaps, they’re not waiting for you, that’s not how the brain works, it says, huh, there’s a gap in that story, I’ll fill it in for you, I’ll go with the least and easiest common denominator, and I’m gonna stick it right there.
It becomes a bit of an issue, because then you get an end result, you’re like, how did that happen, how did we get here, this wasn’t the plan, well, it wasn’t the plan because they didn’t know the whole story. What they need in particular is for you to be clear, and for you to be clear, your belief has to be out of the way. I wasn’t being clear with everybody about what I was up to and what I was making happen, which I wanted to be, but I was afraid, and so you gotta pattern interrupt that.
Honestly, I interrupted it myself last week with this incredible tool, and it made me laugh at myself, and it made me laugh at that belief, and before you knew it, I’m like, I gotta make a video and share with people what I’m up to.
So 1, you name the belief exactly as you hear it in your head, exactly. I wrote it down, I was like, oh, that’s crappy belief, I’m like, I’m not living my life through that belief, that’s BS. I wrote a funny come comeback, which, one of the easiest comebacks for the belief I was talking about for myself is the fact that I’m an unconventional leader, who the hell thinks I’m coloring in between the lines and staying in the box, nobody, that’s not how I lead, and that’s not my style, that’s not what’s gonna happen.
And then the other thing is, pick one tiny proof of action for yourself about that belief, and my one tiny action was to create this video and to let you guys in to what I’m actually up to. This is what I’m up to, and it’s pretty incredible, honestly.
If you love this video, please like it, please follow me, please pass it along to other people. If you wanna know more about unconventional leadership, um, coaching, training, how to get success out of being a different thinker, how to be more successful being a different thinker, that’s, that’s my soft spot, that is totally where I lead people in a pile of great and amazing directions, they’ve got the, you have the answers, trust me, you have the answers, we just need to go hunt them down, find them, attach the story, and get you off in your direction so you can continue your amazing leadership.
And if that wasn’t enough, I’m strongly recommending that you check out this new Bad Belief Joke creator, shift up those darn beliefs and create absolutely amazing new outcomes, it’s, it’s fun, it’s easy, it is three, it is literally one question, two optional questions, and 10 really good jokes, okay, they’re not all really good, cause that’s not how AI works, but there’s at least three really good ones, I promise you that. I’m JoyGenea, unconventional leadership coach and person working out of a new amazing office, bye now.