Procrastination. It’s something many of us, especially neurodivergent adults, struggle with. But what if I told you that procrastination isn’t just a lack of willpower or poor time management? What if it’s actually deeply tied to emotions and feelings that often go unacknowledged?
If you’re a neurodivergent individual—whether with ADHD, dyslexia, or autism—you may find yourself battling procrastination, not because you’re “lazy” or “unmotivated,” but because emotions like guilt, shame, blame, control, fear, self-doubt, self-consciousness, and all the other unpleasant emotions are getting in the way.
In this article, I’m going to explore the emotional underpinnings of procrastination and avoidance, share personal examples, and discuss why it’s crucial for neurodivergent individuals to address these emotional barriers in order to thrive.
Emotions Driving Procrastination: It’s Not About Willpower
I’ve worked with many different-thinker clients and spoken to many neurodivergent individuals, and a common theme I encounter is the tendency to feel bad about not accomplishing tasks.
These feelings often stem from emotions tied to the task itself—whether it’s guilt over not finishing something on time, shame for falling short of expectations, or blame for not meeting deadlines. What’s even more interesting is that these emotions often get attached to our to-do lists, shaping how we approach the task at hand.
Let me illustrate this with a personal example. I set a goal for myself: to have a video and blog post ready by Monday. That was my plan, that’s what was on my calendar. However, when Monday came and went without the task being completed, I immediately felt guilty. It wasn’t just that I didn’t do it—it was the overwhelming sense of failure attached to it. That’s where the emotional block started.
The Cycle of Avoidance and Shame
Instead of simply rescheduling the task for the next day, I let it sit on my list. And here’s the thing: When we don’t put a task on our calendar with a designated time, it often gets pushed into the “I’ll do it later” category or my all time favorite “I’ll do it this weekend.”
For me, Tuesday came and went without progress. Wednesday was no better, and before I knew it, the task still wasn’t done.
This cycle of avoidance can be common for neurodivergent individuals. Once the task is tied to negative emotions, such as guilt or shame, it becomes incredibly difficult to take the next step. It’s not a matter of not knowing how to do the task; it’s about the emotional weight that makes it feel impossible.
The Importance of Addressing Emotional Blocks
So, what changed for me on Thursday? I finally acknowledged that I needed to address the emotional block that had been preventing me from moving forward. I allowed myself to feel the guilt, but I didn’t let it dictate my actions. Instead of continuing to procrastinate, I tackled the task head-on.
I also took proactive steps. I checked my calendar, blocked off time after my meeting, and set aside time for the task. But even then, when I went to record the video, the software wasn’t working.
I could have let that frustrate me and throw me off course, but instead, I emailed the app company and resolved the issue quickly. By taking control of the situation, I was able to move past the emotions that had been keeping me stuck.
Trust me when I tell you this is not how I used to handle things fifteen years ago. I have been building up my no emotions on the “to do” list muscle for years and I can regain my barring’s much faster than I ever could before.
I have also invested time and money into working through my childhood traumas, PTSD, and a host of other emotional hooks from my past. Some of those hooks came from the PTSD and alcoholism in my childhood home, some came from the school system, and some of it came from how I interpreted things a little more intensely than many others would. So, some nature and some nurture.
The Power of Understanding Your Emotions
The lesson here is clear: Procrastination isn’t always just a time management issue; it can be an emotional one. For neurodivergent individuals, procrastination often arises when emotions like guilt, shame, fear, and past trauma are tied to a task.
These emotions create mental blocks that prevent us from moving forward. This is very real and anyone in psychology will tell you about it.
Quick insight into one of the ways past trauma uses current events:
If we have unresolved past trauma and we are keeping it pushed away and not dealing with it, it doesn’t mean it’s gone. It just means we are ignoring it and those feelings and emotions in our unconscious mind are always looking for ways to be resolved and calmed.
One of the ways they try to get our attention is by attaching themselves to current situations and events. Hence your projects, goals, and tasks get weighed down with emotions. I highly recommend that you do the work to resolve those past emotions so they can stop hooking onto your present happiness and goals. They belong in the past where they happened.
The key to overcoming procrastination lies in understanding and addressing these emotional barriers. By recognizing that procrastination is not just a “willpower issue,” we can take steps to manage the emotions attached to our tasks. Once we do that, we can begin to break the cycle of avoidance and move toward achieving our goals.
Moving Forward with Emotional Awareness
If you’re struggling with procrastination, here are a few steps you can try to take:
- Acknowledge the emotions: Recognize that procrastination might be tied to feelings of guilt, shame, or fear. Simply acknowledging these emotions can help you break free from their grip. I highly recommend using your tools of talking, writing, or creating something about what you are feeling.
- Reframe your mindset: Instead of focusing on the guilt of not finishing a task, focus on how you can solve the problem at hand. Shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-compassion. Kindness towards yourself is one of the greatest tools you have. If you don’t know how to do that, this is a great place to start in your personal growth.
- Set time aside: Avoid letting tasks fall into the “I’ll do it later” trap. Schedule specific time in your calendar to tackle each task.
BONUS insight, you might be avoiding a task because it is just not that important to get done or you don’t care about the project anymore or you have taken it as far as you are going to. It might be time to let that go. - Seek support: If emotions are overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Talking to a coach, mentor, or therapist who specializes in neurodiversity can provide you with the support you need to navigate emotional blocks.
- Celebrate small wins: Don’t wait until a large task is completed to celebrate. Acknowledge and celebrate small wins along the way. I can’t say this enough. Celebrating the small wins is what leads to the big wins.
Conclusion: Embracing the Neurodivergent Experience
As a neurodivergent coach, I understand the challenges that emotions can bring to productivity. But I also know that recognizing and addressing those emotions is the key to unlocking our true potential. Procrastination isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign that we need to explore and understand the emotional barriers holding us back.
By embracing emotional awareness and self-compassion, we can break the cycle of procrastination and step into our full potential. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Together, we can navigate these emotional challenges and move forward with confidence.
Let’s go out and apply that amazing potential to your life.
This is at the core of my coaching and I show it in my mission statement.
“Co-collaboratively generate breakthroughs to shift neurodiverse individuals into a state of high performing success through validation clarity support and results.”
JoyGenea
International Neurodiversity Coach
Dyslexic, ADHD, and Proud Different Thinker
Transcription:
Welcome back to my channel and blog! This week, I’m really done with the conversation about how emotions are driving procrastination, avoidance, and that feeling of not being good enough. It truly is a significant barrier. So often, people—clients in particular, but also those I meet at conferences and events—are gracious enough to send me articles they find, which I absolutely love and appreciate. It’s fascinating when they share pieces about neurodivergent people—those with ADHD, autism, and dyslexia—and how to be more productive, create routines, and have good habits. Notice the sarcasm in my voice, because while I appreciate these articles, I’m sure you, as a fellow neurodivergent individual, are nodding along thinking, “Yes, all the time. They’re right. We need these things!”
But so often, the real issue getting in the way of all of this is not a lack of strategies; it’s actually the emotions and feelings we’re experiencing. These emotions can block us from making progress. Let’s talk about a few examples—shame, blame, and guilt. These emotions often attach themselves to things on our to-do lists. They also get attached to people’s dreams and goals. I deal with this regularly, and many people don’t realize that it’s these emotions that are limiting our growth.
Here’s an example: This video and my content were supposed to be ready and done by Monday. That’s the goal, that’s what’s on my calendar. But as I write this, it’s Thursday morning, and I’m finally accomplishing it. So why didn’t I get it done on Tuesday and Wednesday? The answer is simple: after Monday, I felt guilty. I knew it was on my list but didn’t complete it, and instead of moving it to my calendar for Tuesday, I didn’t. Tuesday was already packed with client meetings and other busy tasks. I thought, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” but once things get into the “I’ll get to it later” section of our task list, it often leads to procrastination. Wednesday came and went, and the video still wasn’t on my calendar. It was on my list but didn’t have a scheduled time, and guess what? It didn’t get done again.
Then, when I tried to get it done this morning, I was feeling awful—guilty, like I was failing. It’s hard to come up with a topic or idea when those emotions are overwhelming, and they prevent me from solving the real problem: I needed to make this video for you, to talk about something neurodivergent people struggle with and offer some solutions. But instead, I found myself paralyzed by the emotions attached to not completing the task earlier in the week.
So, I decided to focus on what I had at hand—what I’ve been seeing in my work with clients. The issue is that we’re not having enough conversations about the feelings that get attached to tasks. Sometimes, it’s a reaction to how a task is delegated to us or to the task itself. Often, I see clients struggling with deadlines and assigning specific times to their tasks. Once a task has a deadline or is assigned at a particular time, it becomes almost impossible to get it done, because there’s an emotional block attached to that specific expectation.
This morning, when I finally had the time to sit down, of course, the software didn’t work. I tried everything, but nothing was happening. Then, I had a meeting, so I had to pause. But before I stopped, I did something smart: I blocked off time on my calendar after the meeting to finish the video. And during the meeting’s break, I emailed the app company, asking why their app wasn’t working. They responded quickly, offering troubleshooting steps—and guess what? It worked, and here we are.
I’m solving the problem, and it feels great. But I can’t ignore the fact that the problem began all the way back on Monday when I didn’t finish it when I was supposed to. I let it fall into the ether, and then the guilt kicked in, which ended up wasting my time and energy.
I’m sharing this with you because I, too, am human. Even as someone who thrives and is successful, I sometimes let my emotions and feelings—especially as a neurodivergent person—get the best of me. They distract me from my bigger goals, and I want you to know that I’m working through it just like you are. We’re not talking enough about how procrastination is not just a matter of willpower. It’s often deeply tied to feelings and emotions, and those emotions need to be acknowledged and understood. Once we understand that, we can begin to work through them.
That’s the power of understanding yourself, your neurodiversity, and finding ways to get tasks off your list. It feels good, and it often leads to bigger things. For me, getting through a few small tasks rolls into accomplishing even more.
I’m JoyGenea, an international neurodiversity coach, dyslexic, ADHD, and someone with a wide variety of other traits. I’m a leader for the neurodivergent community, and I believe in your amazing potential. Let’s go out and find it and apply it to your life.
Bye for now!