“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life forever.” ~Amy Poehler
Do you know how YOU can best achieve a goal?
Here’s the thing. All brains are different.
Everyone needs and wants different support and different things to achieve a goal. What I have learned and observed over the years is that other than athletes, many of us don’t understand the process of figuring that out, someone has shamed us from doing what we need, or we have never experienced it yet, so we don’t even know what we are missing.
COMMON WAYS TO SUPPORT YOURSELF TOWARDS A GOAL
- Take time to define what the goal is
- Write it down
- Tell a few other people what the goal is
- Figure out your strengths in achieving the goal and your weaknesses
- Get additional help for the weaknesses (I call this building the team)
- Have accountability with timelines with at least one other person. The more people the better.
- Do the actions to achieve the goal
- Celebrate the win and start all over on the next goal
PROCESS OF FIGURING OUT OUR WAY OF GETTING TO SUCCESS QUICKLY
- Trial and error
- Ask for help from a professional – coach, counselor, trainer, doctor, pastor, priest, guide, shaman, and more
- Build a support team – who are the people you need to bring together to best help you accomplish the task
WAYS TO SLOW DOWN THE PROCESS
- Don’t ask for help
- Don’t write things down
- Don’t tell people
- Do it all by yourself, because you know more than others
- Read one book and think you got it or watch one video
I have done all of these things wrong in the past and I have done all of these things right recently. The difference in outcome is profound and I am not going back to the old way. What surprises me most about my old process is how afraid I was to let it go. I was taught and gifted the process in my early twenties. I didn’t trust the people giving me advice, so I didn’t listen and went about doing things my way. I did ok, but then my life really fell apart and I had to let go of all of the old ways and rebook. I still didn’t lean in, and I was not going to ask for help unless I absolutely had to. I did some of the things listed and I started to see a difference in how I was achieving my goals and how fast I was able to achieve them. Recently some life events allowed me to revisit those wise people who gifted me with this approach, and I realized I had been spending years searching for what they had already given me, and I was just too scared to trust and try the whole process. I am now going to lean in toward my goal.
PROCESS OF BUILDING THE TEAM (to bring you to completing your goal)
- Who is highly skilled and gifted in this area?
- Do I trust them?
- Will I listen to them?
- Do they have my best interest at heart?
- Can I afford them?
- Ask them to be part of the team and share with them the goal
- Stay in contact with them and about the progress of the goal
- Set and keep all appointments with team members
- Thank and praise them often
- Listen to the wisdom and advice they give you
Owning a business has taught me much of this and getting through a recession, pandemic, and now an economic quandary helps me to practice.
Recently I was able to put this into action.
When my father passed away one of the first things, I did was email my lawyer, my accountant, my bookkeeper, my financial advisor, my pastor, a couple of friends and my mom asking them to be part of my team. I knew I was going to need each of them to help me work through the estate.
I have trusted them, I have asked for help, I have taken their advice and I have happily paid them for their gifts.
You see, in the last few hours my father and I were able to talk, he kept asking me if I was going to be able to handle this job and take care of my brothers. He feared that we would hurt each other in this process like so many families do. I told him I feared that too. I shared with him that his wish would be our guiding light and goal. To have my siblings and I grow closer as we went through this process. He smiled his smile and said, “How are you going to do that, my child?” I told him, “I have a team that will help us, I trust them, we will be ok.” We had this conversation a couple of times before his ability to talk was gone and his time on earth was over.
I will be the first to admit I have not been perfect at the estate stuff or being a sister. I do know I have done my best in the moment and that I have a great team helping me.
I don’t lose sleep over the process; I don’t get too mad about anything. I have trust that the team will help me figure things out and we are all focused on the goal. That makes it easy to be successful.
Now that I have learned, know, and experienced this process at its best. I just need to make sure I apply this process in all areas of my life, business, marriage, family, health, and spirit.
One of the best ways I implement the team process in all of my life is in support groups.
What I have learned about me, is that one of the best tools for me to reach my goal is for me to be a part of a support group. It has taken me years to embrace that as one of the most important ways to my success. I had a lot of people around shame me when I went to my first support group for something. Their judgment of me pushed me away from the whole process. I never should have let them have so much power over my life. Since I have created or participated in a group for my health, my goals, my grief, and my business. All of those things have been massively successful. For me, I gain from the wisdom, power, and support of a group of people going through the same thing I am or have already gone through it and now supporting others to find their way.
How are you doing in achieving your goals?
How much of this process do you apply and implement?
Where might you need to explore more?
Until next time, keep watching the sunrise with the joy in your heart of a new exciting day unfolding.
Business Owner, International Neurodiversity Coach, and Speaker